The police scanner is talking about you again....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
