You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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