I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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