this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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