I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We left an ass print on the piano.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
