So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
