Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
