Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Even my vagina gasped.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.