A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!