omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?