I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.