I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?