Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
