Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.