And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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