**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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