I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.