I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...