We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
