so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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