Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
