DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you had me at cake vodka
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
