The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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