i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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