my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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