I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i came on her dog
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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