those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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