Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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