i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
this is an emotional support booty call
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea