Kiss
Puke
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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