Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When are your genitals available?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.