nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.