Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
