Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
