You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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