4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"