yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
