In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
third nipple confirmed
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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