She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
