I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
