I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize