is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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