My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize