We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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