Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The beer is more important than you right now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
