We're like a lot better than the average bears
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
