Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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