I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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