How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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