the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
