I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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