is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
