you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
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After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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