these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
