She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
