Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
