I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
