the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
