we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
