and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
