I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
barbara walters just said penis...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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