"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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