Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
even my farts smell like vagina
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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