So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
