I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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