If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
