Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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