i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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